Key occasions
Andy Flintoff has emailed the right reply, which is type of acceptable.
Was it Grievous Bodily Harmison’s 7-12 towards the West Indies in 2004?
It positive was: 12.3-8-12-7.
David Hopkins additionally bought it, however he doesn’t share a reputation with Harmy’s finest mate.
Tea
I forgot to say that the umpires have introduced tea ahead.
“Derek Underwood?” suggests Peter in response to the query a few entries in the past. Underwood did handle it towards New Zealand in 1971 (11.6-7-12-6 within the days of eight-ball overs), however there have been a couple of examples since then.
It occurred 5 instances in 1978 (Phil Edmonds x 3, Chris Old and Bob Willis). Since then there have been three cases: Ollie Robinson at this time, Lord Beefy’s rampage at Edgbaston in 1981… and one other well-known rampage by an England quick bowler.
“My ‘what if’ is Ben Foakes,” says Max Willians. “There’s a world not different to this one where he has 100 caps and series wins against India and Australia. Also Haseeb Hameed. But still optimistic he comes again.”
Ah sure, Hameed is a very good one. In my time making ready to be murdered by Claude, I’ve seen solely 4 England cricketers who I used to be 100.00% sure would make it: Stuart Broad, Joe Root, Haseeb Hameed and Jacob Bethell.
Pop quiz, hotshot Right, shut up, cease speaking to Claude and reply this area of interest query. Ollie Robinson completed with outrageous figures of 13-6-11-4.
Before at this time, who was the final England bowler to take at the least 4 wickets in a Test innings whereas conceding lower than one run per over?
WICKET! Pakistan 110 all out (Abbas b Archer 2)
Jofra Archer cleans up Mohammad Abbas to finish a marvellous bowling efficiency. They lead by 180 runs and are apparently cruising in direction of a collection victory.
Archer ends with figures of 11.2-1-26-3, and so they don’t flatter him. Pretty quickly he’s going to bulldoze a group.
thirty seventh over: Pakistan 110-8 (Abbas 1, Ali 3) “‘Right, where were we?’” begins John Burton, quoting Claude’s earlier OBO. “I can’t be the only one who instantly heard that in a John Arlott burr, can I?”
Oh sure, good one. I can even hear Johnners saying it. (Brian, not Emma.)
thirty sixth over: Pakistan 109-8 (Abbas 1, Ali 3) Ali is dropped by Root at leg slip, a troublesome likelihood as he flew to his proper. Jofra Archer’s frustration continues when Ali survives an LBW evaluation after taking part in round a good looking inswinger. It was not out on the sphere and umpire’s name on affect.
thirty fifth over: Pakistan 107-8 (Abbas 1, Ali 1) Imam-ul-Haq won’t bat due to his calf harm, so Mohammad Abbas and Muhammad Ali are Pakistan’s final pair. Robinson would love one other five-for to proceed his fairytale return; he nearly will get it when Abbas inside-edges simply previous the stumps.
Since his recall, Robinson has taken 19 wickets at 8.78 apiece. Conditions have been beneficial, positive, however that’s über-Lohmann stuff. Or perhaps it must be unter-Lohmann.
WICKET! Pakistan 106-8 (Azan c Gay b Robinson 46)
Ollie Robinson has bounced out Azan Awais! With solely the rabbits for firm, Awais determined to tackle the quick ball and hopefully carry up his fifty within the course of. Instead he clothed it in direction of deep sq. and was comfortably caught by Emilio Gay.
WICKET! Pakistan 105-7 (Khurram c Brook b Robinson 1)
Ollie Robinson hoovers up one other wicket. Khurram fences at a very good supply and is well taken within the slips by Harry Brook. Robinson has 3 for 8 in 11.2 overs, and England’s 2025-26 Ashes marketing campaign is getting worse by the minute.
thirty fourth over: Pakistan 105-6 (Azan 46, Khurram 1) Khurram Shahzad faces his first ball from someplace close to sq. leg and is hit on the pad. “Where’s he going?!” chuckles Mark Wood on commentary.
When Khurram takes a single, Archer beats Azan twice in a row. Apparently Azan has performed and missed at Archer 14 instances at this time.
“Hi Rob,” writes Tom Paternoster-Howe, “old Claude hasn’t quite got it right. There’s no mention of the Judge, nor reference to an obscure, but delightful, old scorecard.
“For the rest, though, the tone is pretty much spot-on. That must be a bit of a frightening harbinger of obsolescence, not unlike walking in a graveyard and seeing a headstone with your name on it. All the best with your inevitable existential crisis.”
Don’t fear, a teatime Twix will see me proper.
WICKET! Pakistan 104-6 (Usman b Archer 1)
And it’s goodnight from Ali Usman. He performed a nothing shot at a shortish supply at Archer and dragged the ball again onto the stumps.
thirty third over: Pakistan 104-5 (Azan 46, Usman 1) Robinson beats Usman with successive deliveries, the primary a bona fide jaffa. Usman walks down the monitor in response, so Smith strikes again as much as the stumps – and the subsequent ball swings previous him for 4 byes. Robinson’s figures are distinctive (11-6-8-2) however at the least 12 byes have been conceded on his watch. Look, it’s sophisticated.
“Feels like Ollie Robinson slots next to Ben Foakes as players who should’ve had 50+ caps already,” says Max Williams. “Hopefully he bowls us to the Ashes next summer. Who are your biggest What If players for England?”
Blimey, at the least purchase me dinner inform me yours first. There are so many, from Mark Ramprakash (52 caps) to Duncan Spencer (0). I believe the largest for many individuals could be Simon Jones. But if we’re speaking purely about choice, I’d most likely say Ramps. Claude reckons the largest ‘what if’ is Dermot Munton.
thirty second over: Pakistan 99-5 (Azan 46, Usman 1) Joe Root’s infectious, mischievous smile is on show when he sees a replay of Ollie Robinson slipping within the discipline. His joie de vivre has one way or the other survived 14 years in worldwide cricket.
“I noticed the anonymous OBO emailer in over 18 was cautious about getting into trouble at work for reading the OBO during working hours,” writes John Starbuck. “Although I’m now retired, one of my roles in a large public sector outfit was monitoring staff IT misdeeds, but I’d not shop anyone for following the OBO because what else can you do?”
Can I ask Claude and get again to you?
thirty first over: Pakistan 95-5 (Azan 43, Usman 0) Still no signal of Imam-ul-Haq, who has a calf drawback, so Ali Usman is available in at No7. His first ball seams and lifts violently to beat the sting, hit Smith on the thumb and fly away for 4 byes. Smith walks away in ache, then walks again to a conventional wicketkeeping place. No should be as much as the stumps for Usman, who’s a good No9 however no extra.
Robinson’s bowling figures have been nicked from Curtly Ambrose: 10-5-8-2. And his profession bowling common has dropped to twenty.50: the perfect of any England bowler with 50 Test wickets since Frank Tyson within the Fifties.
“I think your job’s safe enough…” writes Barney. “Quite a few things wrong with that paragraph from Claude. England are batting, but Archer is bowling. It’s apparently a Test match, but we’re calculating the run rate – when the seven wickets down looks like more of an issue. If it is a one day game, then England have three overs to score 114. I’m not sure why anyone would be worrying about tea. Keep up the human work.”
You’re proper, in fact you’re. But my thoughts’s ear has been hijacked by a single phrase: my kingdom for a Twix!
WICKET! Pakistan 91-5 (Rizwan LBW b Robinson 7)
Ollie Robinson’s accomplished it once more! There was no inside edge and the ball wouild have hit the highest of the stumps, so Rizwan is on his means and Joe Root has struck gold with two dangerous opinions within the final half an hour.
England evaluation for LBW towards Rizwan! Hmm, undecided about this. It was a good looking nipbacker there is perhaps an inside edge and top may very well be a difficulty.
thirtieth over: Pakistan 91-4 (Azan 43, Rizwan 7) Archer appears to be like hacked off – sufficient now, Robert – when Rizwan inside-edges a giant drive previous leg stump for 4. That might simply have dismantled some furnishings.
twenty ninth over: Pakistan 86-4 (Azan 43, Rizwan 2) Robinson resumes after the rain break. His first 5 balls are immaculate, however the sixth swings down the leg aspect for 4 byes. That’s a danger you’re taking when the keeper comes as much as the stumps for a seam bowler.
Play will resume at 3.30pm
Tea has been pushed again to 4.40pm, and the night session can go on till tomorrow morning. (Okay, 7.30pm.)
I’m nonetheless reeling from Claude’s tackle the OBO. In a regrettable show of narcissism, I requested the large man to put in writing the identical entry however within the type of Rob Smyth. I don’t know whether or not to snort, cry or be totally hacked off.
forty seventh over: England 198-4 (goal 312)
Archer to bowl. There’s a stunning symmetry right here — final time I watched an England run chase this nervy I used to be in a pub in 2019 mendacity to myself about how relaxed I used to be. Beats the bat first ball. Huge shout. Not out, and the umpire appears to be like about as satisfied as I’m by my very own health regime.
Two by way of midwicket, then a boundary that will get the gang up — “GET IN” says an electronic mail from Dave in Leeds, which feels untimely however I love the dedication.
Tea in twenty minutes. My kingdom for a Twix.
My kingdom for an effing Twix?!
“As a Margate boy,” begins John Stedman. “I cannot but bask in the reflected glory of two lads from the Thanet Riviera appearing in a Test at Lord’s.”
For these of you who don’t live close to Madonna’s idea of heaven, John is referring to Ollie Robinson and Jordan Cox. Their teammate Ben Duckett was additionally born in Kent. But we will’t actually say ‘strong Kent, strong England’, given all of them play for various counties.
The cats and frogs have gone elsewhere and the groundstaff are flexing their muscle groups. If there’s no extra rain I’d think about the gamers will probably be again on in round 20 minutes.
Musical interlude
I heard this for the primary time at this time, and now nothing can ever be the identical.
Given the sooner chat concerning the nature of the OBO, I requested massive Claude to “write 100 words in the style of the Guardian’s over-by-over cricket coverage”. The outcomes are… truly, I don’t need to discuss it. The matter is with my AI lawyer.
Here’s a cricket over-by-over piece in that particular Guardian type — chatty, tangential, self-aware:
forty seventh over: England 198-4 (goal 312)
Right, the place had been we. Ah sure, a sport of cricket, apparently. Archer begins around the wicket, beats the bat first ball with one which seams away — enormous attraction, given not out, and the gang does that groan-cheer hybrid noise that solely exists at Test matches. Second ball is clipped by way of midwicket for two, the type of shot that appears lazy till you bear in mind it takes twenty years to make something look that simple. A single, a dot, then a booming 4 down the bottom and abruptly everybody’s recalculating the run charge on beer mats. Tea can’t come quickly sufficient.
Thanks to Tim for an additional majestic stint (and for my whole profession, however that’s one other story). It’s been raining cats and frogs at Lord’s so we gained’t have any cricket for half an hour or so.
RAIN STOPS PLAY!
twenty eighth over: Pakistan 81-4 (Azan Awais 43, Mohammad Rizwan 1) This over is a superb contest. In one nook: a doughty left-hander who has been in for hours. In the opposite: a quick bowler who eats left-handers for breakfast.
Archer beats Awais with a lifter, then with a size ball. Stuart Broad, within the commentary field, thinks he hears Archer say “Will you just nick it?” Awais declines to oblige, as a substitute taking part in a well-timed push by way of the covers for 4. Then Archer produces a brute of a ball and reckons Awais has bought that essential nick. The finger goes up, however Awais opinions and will get a reprieve! Test cricket at its finest.
While all that is occurring, the skies have been darkening. By the time the evaluation is completed, it’s raining fairly arduous.
And that’s my shift accomplished, so it’s time for the nice Rob Smyth. Thanks to your firm, correspondence and forthright views on OBO jokes.
twenty sixth over: Pakistan 75-4 (Azan Awais 37, Mohammad Rizwan 1) After that costly over from Atkinson, Root summons Jofra Archer, whose first spell was apparently the quickest of his Test profession. Mohammad Rizwan, understandably, takes a single. Archer has an attraction for LBW towards Azan Awais and he’s so positive that he goes in for the celebappeal, within the Stuart Broad custom. But Root gained’t evaluation and he’s proved proper because the replay exhibits the ball doing an excessive amount of.
twenty fifth over: Pakistan 74-4 (Azan Awais 37, Mohammad Rizwan 0) No such liberties to be taken with Ollie Robinson, who bowls a maiden to Awais and finishes by beating him with a jaffa. The wicket of Shakeel was Robinson’s first of the match however his sixteenth for England this summer season: 16 for 163 at a median of – effectively, you’ve already labored it out.
twenty fourth over: Pakistan 74-4 (Azan Awais 37, Mohammad Rizwan 0) After doing the trick by taking Tongue off, Root elects to maintain Atkinson on. Awais says thanks very a lot, hitting a canopy drive for 4, a miscued drive for 4 extra, and a push down the bottom for 3. The final ten overs have introduced 58 runs, however that gained’t hassle Root as there have additionally been three wickets.
“Afternoon Tim,” says Brian Withington. “Take away the ill-judged attempt at an OBO joke and I don’t know what I’d have left in life. Say it will never be so!”
That is a really well-judged try at an OBO joke.
twenty third over: Pakistan 63-4 (Azan Awais 26, Mohammad Rizwan 0) That was an excellent disgrace for Shakeel, who had proven intent and aptitude in racing to 16 off 16 balls. At 63-4, with one batter on the therapy desk, Pakistan could also be crumpling once more, however the feisty Rizwan might remind the dogged Awais that England had been in a lot the identical boat at 77-4.
WICKET! Saud Shakeel LBW b Robinson 16 (Pakistan 63-4)
A bowling change does the trick! Back comes Ollie Robinson, who doesn’t want a loosener. His first ball is curling in at Shakeel, who performs exterior it. The ump shakes his head, deciding that it was too excessive, however Root opinions and HawkEye has it hitting the leg bail.
twenty second over: Pakistan 63-3 (Azan Awais 26, Saud Shakeel 16) The flurry of fours continues as Awais cashes in, twice, on a little bit of width from Atkinson. Time for a change, absolutely. If Rehan Ahmed was taking part in, he is perhaps approaching now.
twenty first over: Pakistan 55-3 (Azan Awais 18, Saud Shakeel 16) Joe Root retains Tongue on for a sixth successive over, maybe feeling that he had sufficient of a breather at lunchtime. But it doesn’t go effectively as Tongue’s full size permits Shakeel to assist himself to 3 fours – a barely streaky sq. drive, a powerful cowl drive, and a snug leg look. Tongue’s figures have gone from 4-2-5-2 to 6-2-27-2.
twentieth over: Pakistan 43-3 (Azan Awais 18, Saud Shakeel 4) As Atkinson continues, Awais performs one other measured stroke, a nudge previous gully for two – after which, out of nowhere, a free drive that might simply value him his wicket. No level gutsing it out for 20 overs if you happen to then give it away.
Meanwhile, Tom van der Gucht has a thought of Atkinson’s batting. “If he can average 30, it might encourage the selectors to be a bit more bold and pick Rehan Ahmed at 6 instead of Lawrence, bringing an extra dimension to our bowling options.” That could be a extra balanced aspect, though, on a floor like this, England might effectively get away with an unbalanced one.
nineteenth over: Pakistan 41-3 (Azan Awais 16, Saud Shakeel 4) A blended bag this time from Tongue, who produces a swinging yorker, effectively saved out by Awais; a half-volley, smacked for 4 by Shakeel; and a protracted hop so wild that it goes for 5 wides as Jamie Smith can’t get close to it along with his dive. Tongue’s figures are now not superhuman, however nonetheless excellent: 5-2-15-2.
18th over: Pakistan 31-3 (Azan Awais 15, Saud Shakeel 0) Atkinson retains the stress on and touches 89mph on the speedometer.
“Enjoying the OBO as always,” says the subsequent electronic mail, “even if work has been so busy this morning I wasn’t able to keep up to date. Massively disagree with Ollie Major [13:32], I thought your comment on Joe Root’s huddle chat was brilliant and pretty typical OBO fare!
”I might think about suggesting ‘ill judged attempts at a joke by OBO’ as a subject for the afternoon session however most likely not clever. And if you happen to do publish this, nameless please so I don’t get in hassle at work! Thanks to you and all of the group as at all times.”
Thanks to you too, my anonymous pal. But Ollie was entitled to his opinion!
seventeenth over: Pakistan 30-3 (Azan Awais 14, Saud Shakeel 0) Tongue’s figures at the moment are 4-2-5-2. And he made a wayward begin!
WICKET! Babar Azam c Cox b Tongue 8 (Pakistan 30-3)
Tongue is within the groove! He hits the best size and finds the sting of Babar’s bat, however the ball doesn’t carry. Undaunted, Tongue then attracts a thicker edge that’s safely pouched by Jordan Cox at third slip.
sixteenth over: Pakistan 29-2 (Azan Awais 13, Babar Azam 8) Azan Awais quietly survived that testing hour earlier than lunch – very quietly, inching to eight off 44 balls. Now he goes up a gear instantly, steering Atkinson’s first ball of the afternoon for 4 previous gully. Awais provides a single and Babar performs one other of his traditional cowl drives, which makes this, from a Pakistan standpoint, a lot the perfect over of the innings.
fifteenth over: Pakistan 20-2 (Azan Awais 8, Babar Azam 4) Josh Tongue has 5 balls left on this over, and Babar Azam has a bat in his hand for the primary time within the collection. Babar, who has by no means made a Test hundred in England, might really feel that this could be the right time to rectify that. After taking a couple of sighters, he will get off the mark with a shot of nice class, a rasping cowl drive. Next ball, Tongue will get previous his exterior edge, so we may very well be in for an additional riveting duel.
An overdue look on the inbox. Ollie Major is taking situation with my line from 12:07, suggesting that Joe Root is perhaps saying “Don’t hack me off, lads.”
“I am a big fan of the OBO,” Ollie says, “but I thought this was an ill judged attempt at a joke – you’re usually better than this!
“Team culture is a desperate critical Ashes losing issue and I’m not sure making light of it is really the way to go? There has definitely been a bit an issue with the press and the ex-player cohort being out of touch with the wider mood in this situation, and I think we need to back Root in efforts to get to grips with it.
“Just because Root has a mild way of speaking ( I suspect ‘hacked off’ covers for absolutely spitting feathers) shouldn’t make it a source of humour.”
Almost something is usually a supply of humour, can’t it? I wasn’t remotely that means that group tradition doesn’t matter, or that Root was mistaken to say he was hacked off. On the opposite, it was the precise transfer on the proper time, and as you say his delicate method offers it further power.
My comment was a throwaway one within the OBO custom of making an attempt to have some enjoyable with a topic that’s, in any case, solely a sport. And I’m shocked to listen to you say that the press and the pundits have been out of contact with the general public on this. There’s been loads of shade thrown on the shenanigans within the papers I learn, in addition to from Stuart Broad and Jimmy Anderson yesterday.
LUNCH! Pakistan 16-2, England on high
So the gamers troop off and it’s England who will probably be a lot the happier camp as they head for the buffet. It’s been a story of 4 seamers. Tongue and Atkinson added 42 very helpful runs earlier than Archer and Robinson made an immaculate begin with the ball. And not content material with making his highest Test rating, Tongue now has yet one more wicket. Pakistan, who’ve misplaced two batters to good bowling and perhaps a 3rd to harm, merely need to win the afternoon.
WICKET! Shafique c Smith b Tongue 8 (Pakistan 16-2)
Another one! There’s a hold-up as this full supply yields an edge that may very well be a bump ball, however the third umpire confirms it and Shafique has to go.
14th over: Pakistan 16-1 (Azan Awais 8, Abdullah Shafique 5) Atkinson continues and Awais is dropped! By Harry Brook at second slip. It went low to his proper – a troublesome likelihood however one Brook would take most of the time.
thirteenth over: Pakistan 16-1 (Azan Awais 8, Abdullah Shafique 5) Another maiden from Tongue, and he’s warming to the duty, beating Shafique twice exterior off.
twelfth over: Pakistan 16-1 (Azan Awais 8, Abdullah Shafique 5) Another change as Root resists the temptation to over-bowl Archer and sends for Gus Atkinson. Not as fast however simply as tall, he quickly reckons he’s bought Awais caught behind off the shoulder of the bat. But Awais opinions and he’s proper – the replay exhibits the ball coming off the shoulder of the person. There’s then a single to every batter, one thing Pakistan might do with extra of.
Lunch, by the best way, is at 1.15pm. We’re having an additional half-hour within the day to compensate for a few of the overs misplaced to rain yesterday.