The daughter of Hollywood royalty is biting that hand that feeds her in a blistering new essay — leaving Tinseltown reaching for the popcorn.
Lorraine Nicholson, the 36-year-old daughter of Oscar-winning legend Jack Nicholson, has ignited chatter and impressed quite a lot of eye-rolls in LA after penning a surprising take-down in W Magazine — the place she skewers the anxieties of the elite and shines the proverbial klieg mild on a sort of behind-the-scenes privilege that not often makes it into public view.
The piece, printed within the journal’s most up-to-date situation, is a shiny take-down of the hyper-elite circles Nicholson herself grew up in — full with name-drops, luxurious digs and a heavy dose of self-aware satire.
“L.A. has established itself as the status-anxiety capital of the world,” Nicholson writes, describing a tradition the place clout-chasing follows gamers of the sport “to the grave.”
In the revealing and considerably indulgent piece, Nicholson argues that in Hollywood, success isn’t nearly cash or fame — it’s about the way you’re handled in a room: “It means that when you’re at a party, women won’t peer over your shoulder to see who else has arrived, and men won’t interrupt you in the middle of a story to get a drink.”
Nicholson paints a caricature of contemporary LA life that can really feel all too acquainted to anybody who has frolicked within the metropolis’s most rarefied zip codes.
In her telling, Angelenos obsess over sleep trackers, magnesium dietary supplements and early bedtimes, turning relaxation right into a aggressive sport.
These days, even espresso runs are too pedestrian. The really elite, she suggests, have assistants, private cooks and luxurious espresso machines ready at house — ideally earlier than hopping into an Escalade outfitted like a “mobile office.”
Fitness, too, has turn into a standing image — however solely behind closed doorways. “Public” exercises at the moment are the “domain of influencers” who “will exchange Instagram posts for free personal training and an unlimited supply of leggings.”
The actual energy gamers, Nicholson guarantees, prepare privately in unique gyms or properties tricked out with saunas, therapeutic massage rooms and chilly plunges.
“In Los Angeles, a social media following means reservations at Alba and free trips to Costa Rica — but it will not get you into Guy Oseary’s Oscars party,” the insider wrote.
Forget reserving a facial like a daily particular person — the actual A-listers, she claims, don’t go away the home. “Instead, you have the personal number of facialist Iván Pol, who, even on the day of the Golden Globes, will bring his proprietary face-snatching radio frequency technology to you.”
And in fact, there’s Erewhon — the natural grocery chain that has turn into shorthand for LA extra — the place smoothies and dietary supplements double as social forex, at the same time as the town has turn into “shrunken by GLP-1s” and longer cares about meals, usually preferring “legacy restaurants frequented by the somebodies of yesteryear, like the Polo Lounge.”
The essay additionally zeros in on the social paranoia baked into Hollywood tradition, the place even an informal espresso run at hip native mini chain Maru can really feel like a high-stakes networking occasion.
Nicholson describes a world the place folks keep away from public interactions out of concern they’ll run into somebody who “needs something,” or worse, somebody extra necessary.
Invite solely relationship apps like Raya are portrayed as hyper-competitive marketplaces, the place males stack themselves up in opposition to Olympians and producers, and ladies are up in opposition to “Former Victoria’s Secret models.”
This story initially appeared on NY Post and is republished right here with permission.
