Updated March 26, 2026, 1:55 p.m. ET
Sometimes what we expect is a praise can really come throughout as the reverse. One explicit phrase − “you look great for your age” − significantly stings.
During a current look on “Live with Kelly and Mark,” Howie Mandel shared his disdain for the remark. The comic and longtime “America’s Got Talent” decide turned 70 in November.
“That doesn’t make any sense,” co-host Kelly Ripa stated in amazement at Mandel’s age, to which he replied, “What do you mean it doesn’t make any sense?”
Co-host Mark Consuelos tried to make clear the remark by complimenting Mandel’s look, remarking he “look[ed] great,” however the rationalization did not sit properly with Mandel.
“I look great? That doesn’t mean anything to me,” Mandel stated. “I don’t like that because that’s a caveat. Because when you tell somebody you’re 70, they go, ‘You look great [for your age].'”
He added: “It’s like saying, ‘You’re smart for a stupid person.’ ‘Oh, you look smart; you seem smart.'”
Chloë Bean, a licensed marriage and household therapist who focuses on trauma, says this remark can activate disgrace as a result of it “reinforces the message that aging is one thing to apologize for or keep away from.”
Even when it is supposed to be flattering, “you look good for your age” can land as an insult as a result of it “suggests a pressure to keep looking different than the age you are,” Bean stated, which may reinforce the concept that your worth is being measured by your look.
Mandel is not alone in feeling this manner.
Jennifer Aniston beforehand stated she “can’t stand” being informed “you look great for your age” in a 2023 interview with British Vogue.
“That’s a habit of society that we have these markers like, ‘Well, you’re at that stage, so for your age…’ I don’t even understand what it means,” she stated.
Commenting on somebody’s seems to be, whether or not in relation to age or weight, reinforces the perception that somebody’s look is the most essential factor about them, Dr. Elizabeth Wassenaar, regional medical director at the Eating Recovery Center, previously told USA TODAY.
“These comments about how your body is acceptable or unacceptable, it reinforces again that you are not worth more than your body … and that you have to present yourself a certain way for the world to find you acceptable,” she stated. “It just reinforces that sort of superficial, body-focused idea that we know is so painful and harmful for every single one of us, because we are so much more than this vessel that carries us.”
Bean says higher options embrace choices like:
- “It’s always so great to see you.”
- “You have such great energy.”
- “I always look forward to our conversations”
“These non-appearance-based compliments are great because they focus on qualities and connection, not what the person looks like,” she defined.
Contributing: Edward Segarra, USA TODAY
