Why India doesn’t teach fathers to tie ponytails

Why India doesn’t teach fathers to tie ponytails

In London, males are clinking beer mugs over hair-braiding classes. Imagine, only a few dudes with their pints and face mannequins in entrance of them. The beverage is for enjoyable, however the coiffure session is extra of a parenting class.

Cute, proper? That’s millennial dads stepping up. But are you able to ever think about one thing like that in India?

Ummm… nonetheless buffering. Blame it on gender roles?

As a child, after watching Hannah Montana, I needed lengthy hair similar to hers. My mother, who’s a trainer, had one rule – “The day you can tie your own ponytail, you can keep it. I might not always have the time to do it.”

Sounded cheap. School mornings are chaos, and even 5 minutes of hair time issues.

Even although my father was at all times fairly hands-on, packing our tiffin and serving to my brother and me dress for college, the hair division was both my mom’s or my grandmother’s area.

Unsaid norms. No one explains why, however everybody follows.

That’s why such occasions have a novel, lowkey-cutsey enchantment to them. But in a approach, these are like meals for thought for a broader parenting shift.

It’s layered. It’s wanted.

Tying ponytails — a lesson in parenting

Parenting courses and workshops in the present day cowl the whole lot – food plan, habits, screen-time battles, even the “which preschool is best” spiral. But what in regards to the smaller growing-up moments?

For occasion, braiding. There’s no coaching for that, but it will be important.

Remember this iconic scene when Dr Shephard learns to tie his daughter’s hair? (Screengrab from Grey’s Anatomy)

Wondering why make an enormous deal out of one thing so small? Because typically, the smallest acts say essentially the most.

Kids are at all times watching

For a very long time, fatherhood in India was—and largely nonetheless is—coded round provision and authority. So, in 2026, when a father learns to braid his daughter’s hair, he’s coming into a caregiving house historically seen because the mom’s area.

Ketika Kapoor, co-founder of ProEves, early childhood care and schooling platform, considers grooming intimate, repetitive, and affected person. “It’s not a ‘once-in-a-while’ heroic act, it’s everyday care—and that is gender-neutral.”

Children observe and mimic what they see at dwelling.

“When such caregiving and emotional labour are not limited to mothers, children begin to see these as life skills. Girls grow up feeling that responsibility for relationships and caregiving does not automatically fall on them, while boys learn that empathy, patience, and emotional expression are strengths, not weaknesses,” Dr Pallavi Chaturvedi, parenting coach and founder, Get Set Parent, tells India Today.

Kapoor emphasises that it may be equally highly effective for sons.

“It quietly rewires masculinity away from emotional restraint and toward participation. It makes them more comfortable with realities like menstruation, which are often treated as ‘not for men to engage with’. The impact compounds when this behaviour is mundane, not exceptional.”

Emotional entry

The “mard ko dard nahi hota” mentality has trickled down for generations. The outcome? Men, even when they need to, don’t at all times understand how to present feelings.

And that’s why, from a parenting pov these small on a regular basis acts are deeply vital. “When fathers participate in daily caregiving rituals, children experience them as emotionally available and dependable figures,” says Dr Chaturvedi.

Teen years aren’t precisely a stroll within the park, and with Gen Alpha, the experience solely will get wilder. So, this type of involvement builds belief, opens up communication, and helps youngsters really feel secure sufficient to develop emotionally.

So, ponytails are only the start. These tiny moments construct a bond that feels secure sufficient for the large questions later like menstruation, puberty and extra.

The micromoments of bonding pave the best way for the longer term join as effectively (Photo: Getty)

What’s the Indian parenting scene like

It’s in transition.

“I believe parenting is becoming harder for both mothers and fathers. But today, both are willing to step back and question the way parenting was done earlier,” says Harpreet Singh Grover, a parenting researcher and the founding father of The Curious Parent.

For some fathers, involvement isn’t about grand gestures however on a regular basis routines.

“One routine I really love is dropping my daughter to school on a scooter with my wife. We could have chosen the bus or carpooling with other parents, but this just works for us. I also make sure I’m there when she gets back—those moments after a gap feel important. That’s one of the reasons I chose to be a house husband,” says Grover, a 42-year-old woman dad.

Millennial dads, particularly, are of their unlearning period, ditching inflexible concepts of masculinity and attempting to present up with a little bit extra emotional vary. The intent is there. The follow-through? A piece in progress.

In skilled opinion, these modifications are extra seen in city pockets up to now. And Kapoor brings forth two main catalysts right here: social media and dual-income households.

Social media has made engaged fatherhood extra seen and aspirational. Surely you might have seen these movies the place pookie dads attempt on make-up sitting by way of tea events in tiaras, absolutely dedicated.

And with dual-income households changing into the norm, shared caregiving isn’t progressive anymore, it’s sensible.

In brief, Indian fatherhood is evolving. Slowly, erratically, however positively.

Millennial and Gen Z dads are of their pookie period, and everybody’s loving it (Photo: Getty)

The shift is on. What’s subsequent?

“Being tough is not about not showing emotions, doing things alone, or being macho. For children to grow up to be loving and capable, the more involved the father is, the better. So any workshop that helps fathers understand the basic concepts behind why childhood is important, help them learn ‘how to play’ with children, is very welcome,” Grover provides.

But can such workshops actually take off in a rustic like India, the place many parenting norms are nonetheless rooted in custom?

Dr Himani Narula Khanna, developmental behavioural paediatrician and co-founder of Continua Kids, believes that simply as moms are proven how to maintain, gown, and take care of the newborn, fathers will be equally concerned.

“Emotional communication workshops can be planned for fathers, where understanding a child’s behaviour, co-regulation, and responsive parenting are discussed. Gender-sensitive parenting sessions can help break stereotypes and focus on raising confident girls, along with teaching fathers how to engage meaningfully and playfully with their children. As kids grow older, fathers can also be prepared to navigate adolescence—learning how to communicate, set boundaries, and support their teens.”

Kapoor additionally agrees. But she cautions that what issues is how these interactive classes are positioned. No one enjoys a run-of-the-mill, boring lecture.

“Indian men are more likely to engage when it doesn’t feel awkward or preachy. Keep it community-led, a bit aspirational—like becoming a more involved, modern dad—and hands-on rather than lecture-heavy. Make it something couples can do together, and it instantly feels easier to sign up for.”

Kapoor suggests extra considerate interventions—like activity-based labs the place cooking, storytelling, and primary life expertise are woven in naturally. She additionally factors to the necessity for social media teaching, creating house for conversations round physique picture, peer strain, and the digital world so that they really feel rather less intimidating, and much more doable for fathers.

Final phrase

Credit to millennial and Gen Z dads for taking that first step—recognising that exhibiting up emotionally issues simply as a lot as offering financially.

But the thought is to make it regular—not distinctive on a regular basis. Given how typically we’re influenced by the West, not the whole lot matches our context. But this “pints and ponytails” concept does, and we will at all times improvise.

So perhaps it’s value asking once more – why doesn’t India teach dads to tie ponytails? And this time, you may need a greater reply than if you began.

– Ends

Published By:

Jigyasa Sahay

Published On:

Mar 28, 2026 08:00 IST

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *